Thou shall not not judge, as thou hast f**ked up too.

When you make a mistake, whatever the magnitude, you will be aware of it. You’ll know “oh fish sticks, that was wrong”, you’ve made a poor judgement somewhere. Sometimes we feel that regret, embarrassment or guilt immediately. Sometimes we realize it later in self reflection, and in some cases we feel it after we’ve been caught out. Either way, we feel something over it, once it’s been done.

Everyone makes mistakes, we’re bound to make them. No one is born knowing the right steps to take for each new situation. Hopefully, we can learn from our error and strive to do better in the future.

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Okay so you get it – we’ve all made mistakes. But what I want to question today is, why people insist on making someones mistakes their own business? Why do they judge others or go out of their way to alienate and make it hard for others to redeem themselves?

Someone climbing uphill against a strong wind, trying to get to the peak, then someone starts throwing rocks at them. A baby learning to walk trying to find their balance for the next step, and someone pulls the play mat out from under them. Bullshit right? That’s what it’s like when someone brings up their past as a negative to make them feel the worse.

It’s a horrible but very common practice. So many people do this to others, and most of us may have been apart of idle gossip before, as a chain in the whispers or as the topic of conversation. It’s usually more common among pre-teens, but  I’ve seen a lot of grown adults, single people out for mistakes that have no connection to them. It needs to stop. What do you get out of being petty and sticking your nose into someones business? Nothing.

My advice to these people is to get a new hobby and worry about yourself. Are people so bored with their day to day, or so filled with hate and bitterness that they have to pick on others trying to be better? Try meditation, go for a walk, bake a cake, shave your head. Just do something else, something that’s positive for you instead of creating more negativity. The next time you think of bringing up someone’s errors, remember the climb from your own mistakes.

We need to start actively shutting that behavior down when it reaches us. So when James from accounting comes to you with gossip about Sandra from sales, quietly let James know that it’s not your business, just leave the poison there. Let it end with you.

My advice to anyone feeling the heat from judgemental stares and snarky comments is to keep going, forget James from accounts. You can’t change what you’ve done, but you can change what happens next, this isn’t the end. Keep working to be better. No one can make you feel bad unless you let them, so don’t give them that power. Stay positive, trust in yourself and keep going. I love you.

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